Family Times

So maybe your family is like this:

Or perhaps a bit more like this:

Even though my family typically puts on a smiley face, I often feel like we all actually want to do this:

No matter what type of family you belong to, as soon as you move away from home, the dynamic of your family changes. Everything changes. Trips home become crammed with visits to family and friends. The pressure to see everyone can sometimes be overwhelming. On the flip side, if you choose not to go home for the holidays, people in your new town feel sorry for you and people in your home town get frustrated (because, who wouldn't want to travel 1,000 miles during the holidays to spend time with the family?...please see image three.

I recently went home for a two day trip to see my immediate family and closest friends. I was unable to meet up with one of my best friends, failed to see a few favorite cousins, and definitely didn't get a chance to do any of the usual shopping that I like to squeeze in during my visits home. Usually I have plenty of time to see everyone and do the much-needed-shopping but it requires me to take vacation days.

The Issue:

We move away from home in search of something...whether it's more independence, a better job, or romance...who knows. But for most of us, it wasn't just because we wanted to get the hell away from our families. The longer we stay away, the more we miss our families. We get excited to go home for a visit, just to be stressed out by the natural tension that accompanies each trip. We lose vacation days to visit family and then try to dodge the guilt trips that are thrown at us when we opt to spend time with friends during our stay.

The Solution?

Stop going home? That's not fair to anyone. Go home less often? I already do that. Give the family a clear understanding of our priorities? Ya, I can see that going over well...."hi fam, great to see you but I'm going to go out with the girls instead. Peace!"

So maybe there's not a solution. We made the decision to move away, so perhaps we're doomed to deal with the consequences?